a.k.a. "Dull HQ". A fediversal server that used to be powered by Ktistec. was a thing that I think could have been but it was not. A failed try and a source of reflexion. This website represents one of earliest and oldest of my crazy dreams. Even since I was child I always dreamed with making a server. Having my own special computer where I could share my creations with the world, without the need of an external agent, to just express my self. Where I could safely storage my stuff, in my home, without the fear of a NSA agent watching throught my files in search of "something". Being safe, and having fun.

This tiny "boat", on the sea that we call "fediverse" represented that. An objetive, that seem beautiful, but every time I tried to touch, moved further and further. That even if I tried to run, still managed to get out of my hands.

I could only more or less achieve that dream once. And it was some months ago, when using my computer, I tried making this website. I had discovered the existance of a thing called Argo Tunnel some weeks prior and I was thrilled. Every time I tried exposing my HTTP ports they seem to not work. This time tho, I got the chance to expose my own services easily and free.

I tried running my own Gitea server, becuase "why not?", and a node as an experiment, to host my own stuff and make lighter the charge of Koyu.Space, that was experiencing some troubles with hosting at the time, a little bit lighter.

I got my computer to run for 8 hours straight, with some minor outages, but later my computer's battery started to fail and I had to stop, finishing then with the journey of this website.

I tried repeting the experience, but some other questions started raising throught my mind. Like, "What if a hacker wants to hack into my site and them into my network?", "What if someone tries to make a DDoS attack against me and tries to get money out of me?" or "What if my internet provider someday just starts demanding more money out of me because of my server using too much broadband?" and that just killed my enthusiasm. Even ignoring that. In my country, server equipament is too expensive, and VPS/clouds/etc. are not cheap.

To sum up, multiple factors, like the costs and the fear of something horrible happening just collaborated together to destroy my dream. An idea that just was too much for me. That just trow me off over time and that made me feel helpless, pessimistic and midly sad and off. That is why this website exists, to let this feelings out of me.

As the old home used to said: "sueño fugás, sueño vivo, sueño muerto", or translated into English: "fleeting dream, living dream, dead dream".

Thanks for reading,


#thoughts #english #fediverse

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